Futurama follows the ragtag crew of the Planet Express Delivery Company. Founded by one Hubert J. Farnsworth, the company specializes in shipping packages all over the universe. Sometimes, those packages even reach their mark. But not every employee is made equal, and that sentiment extends to Futurama. While some members of the Planet Express crew do an exemplary job on the field, others seem more like a hindrance to the company. Let’s take a look at each employee and rank just how well they do their jobs.
8. Dr. John Zoidberg
To be fair, Zoidberg is a great doctor. It’s just that his degree is in Art History. The alien physician of the Planet Express crew comes in at dead last, and there’s an emphasis on ‘dead.’ His species are a colorfully exotic culture of crustaceans, meaning that he doesn’t really understand human biology all that well. Now, Zoidberg may have been kept around all this time so that he can keep the Professor from turning into a Yeti (it’s a long story), and he may have succeeded at that goal, but his primary job is one he’s woefully inept for.
He’s been fired more than a few times, though he always sticks around regardless of the outcome. He’s like a barnacle you can’t get rid of. If you think your job’s health insurance is bad, just remember that Dr. Zoidberg doesn’t understand where the human mouth is.
7. Bender Bending Rodriguez
Bender’s exactly the type of employee you don’t want: lazy, arrogant, rude, impertinent, egomaniacal, even murderous — and that’s just how he’d describe himself. There’s a reason he carries around his “One Devious Bastard” vanity plate, and it’s not in a postmodern, ironic way.
His Tickle-Me-Bender dolls provide merchandising for Planet Express, so he does have one thing over Dr. Zoidberg. But Bender has routinely tried to poison his crew mates on several occasions, and only some of those times were accidents. As a robot employed as the ship’s cook, Bender’s food is inedible for practically any Earth-born organic. Everyone loves Bender, and we do too, but he undoubtedly deserves the seventh place. You just can’t break the universe a few times and then expect to get employee of the month.
6. Philip J. Fry
Fry tries, sometimes, and that’s more than you can say for most people. Unfortunately, that’s about all you can say about him. Fry may be a delivery boy to his core, but he’s gone through nearly as many jobs as Homer Simpson. Maybe there’s a reason that it took the crew 11 years to deliver 100 packages. Planet Express always seems to be right at the point of insolvency, and it can’t help that their main delivery boy thinks of napping as a hobby.
Okay, sure, he’s clumsy, and his antics often get the crew into some kind of misadventure. Sure, he lacks a delta brainwave. Sure, he’s his own grandpa. But Fry’s got heart and his determination has also saved the day a few times, so at least he’s got that going for him.
5. Dr. Amy Wong
Amy is the definition of an employee doing the bare minimum. She’s Professor Farnsworth’s intern, although for many seasons, she wasn’t actually shown to do much around the lab. Even Professor Farnsworth admits he’s keeping her around for her blood, which happens to be the same type as his. Since she’s still around and she’s still got blood, she’s technically fulfilling all of her job duties.
Of course, once she gets her PhD in “That Darn Katz!”, she’s seen helping the Professor out more often, so she does rank a bit higher than the other guys. Amy is a solid, middle-of-the-road employee by Planet Express standards.
4. Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
The best way to describe Professor Farnsworth is “doddering.” Older than dirt and proud of it, the Professor’s heyday might be behind him, but his inventions are the driving force for many, many episodes. He’s an absolutely terrible boss, treating his employees like guinea pigs on more than one occasion and losing more than one crew, but…
Huh. Well, he doesn’t have a lot of virtues about him. But his inventions have clearly kept the company in business for many years, and when the rest of his employees are actively working so poorly that the company is almost out of business, he deserves some recognition for that.
3. Captain Turanga Leela
At first glance, Leela’s the most competent member of the crew. Her piloting can be a little aggressive, but she’s still pretty good pilot for someone without any depth perception. She keeps everyone in line. Mostly. And in a future timeline, Leela actually takes over Planet Express and transforms it into a shipping conglomerate.
On closer inspection, though, Leela’s just as neurotic as her team. Her intense drive and perfectionism nearly causes the crew to be lost in the Bermuda Tetrahedron in “Mobius Dick,” and she’s also stolen the Planet Express ship for her own devices multiple times. Leela would be fired at any other practical workplace, but by Planet Express standards, she’s pretty good.
2. Hermes Conrad
Hermes is a bureaucrat like no other. He can organize an entire mail room in just one montage, and his devotion to his craft is such that he will punish himself to the greatest extent of his abilities if he causes even the smallest infraction.
There is the issue of Hermes’ seemingly latent, murderous tendencies, but that’s not any worse than any of the other crew members. Although most of Hermes’ paperwork is the kind of boring, obstructive bureaucracy most of us are used to, “How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back” demonstrates just how important Hermes is to the company. Somehow, he’s the only one who can keep things running.
1. Scruffy
Never has Scruffy brought an extinct viral disease back into circulation, dated the Planet Express ship, or turned everyone into fugitives for a campaign of ecoterrorism. Scruffy just does his job. He sets the owl traps, cleans the toilets; Scruffy is quite possibly the only Planet Express employee to actually have a real job. While everyone else is busy with their own lives, often bringing their drama to work, Scruffy keeps to himself and does the work he needs to do. We have to salute Scruffy for his efforts.