Everyone, I think I have a problem. The first step to recovering is admitting fault, so please, let me just say this: I’m, undoubtedly, 100%-ally, unequivocally, hooked on that gosh dang Baby Yoda.
The Mandalorian from which he sprang? Not so much. But The Child himself? Hell yeah, shoot that stuff right into my astigmatic eyeballs. I want it all. But, would you believe it, I may have to wait even longer to get my hands on one, as the dang things are selling out like blue buttermilk flapjacks.
Despite not even being available until spring, Baby Yoda toys are currently out of stock on Amazon. Specifically, the two plushies, the talking one from Hasbro and the silent 11-incher from Mattel, are unavailable for purchase. While you can still get a Funko Pop if you’re a braindead idiot, us real adults will have to wait to get our toys. But, if you really need your fix, you can go find them online at Walmart or Best Buy. Bezos really goofed up, didn’t he?
Listen, I’m going to see The Rise of Skywalker later tonight, but I’m not terribly excited for it. Thank goodness that Baby Yoda exists or otherwise I’d sincerely be almost entirely over this space opera stuff. Unless another good video game comes along. Fallen Order was pretty enjoyable, at least by today’s low standards, but I’m still yearning for something a bit better.
Why am I talking about this consumerist nonsense? Well, because I’m just a simple man. I like simple things. I like toys of cute creatures created specifically to make me go “Oh, that’s cute, I want one please.” I am a sap. I am a fool. I love Baby Yoda very much and would very much like to care for him just like the Mandalorian is currently trying to. Not like I watch the show, mind you. I just watch Baby Yoda. Disney, please help me. You’re my only hope.