Content warning: these videos may be hard to watch for anyone who has been a victim of harassment and stalking. Please watch with care.
The only thing worse than feeling unsafe in what should be the comfort of your own home is being threatened, harassed, and stalked by someone you don’t know, making what should be a home sweet home feel like a scary confine instead.
A video on TikTok shows just how unnerving it can be when you’re stuck within the walls of your own home feeling unsafe, and it’s shining a light on neighbor harassment, something very real that is not talked about nearly enough. Mother and daughter pair NuBrit’tany and Tasha have been victims to a neighbor who threatens them verbally and physically, and they’ve been repeatedly told that there’s nothing more that can be done.
The caption to the video states that these “visits” have been happening since June of 2023 and that despite them being told that the man would be moving and police being contacted each time he appears – it’s still an ongoing issue, and they’re still victims of active stalking.
The definition of stalking reads as follows from StalkingAwareness.org:
“A pattern of behavior directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for the person’s safety or the safety of others; or suffer substantial emotional distress.”
Stalking is a very real and very intense crime, and the most detrimental thing to victims is that it’s often given less priority or validity, even though it is life-changing and unsettling. Stalking can leave its victims with a set of emotional and mental disturbances, as described by Actions Against Stalking:
“People being targeted often report chronic stress and anxiety, periods of low mood and depression. In some cases, victims can experience symptoms associated with trauma and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder.”
Many comments recommended that a restraining order be obtained, and in a perfect world, it would be that simple.
Both fortunately and unfortunately, the steps to getting a restraining order/order of protection are very detailed with various stipulations, and before you scoff at us saying there’s a fortunate aspect to that — hear us out. In this case, the steps to getting a restraining order/order of protection are very unfortunate. We’ll get into that in a moment — but for people who use the idea of a restraining order/order of protection as a revenge tactic or a scare tactic in which they want to hurt an ex, partner, or friend — it makes sense that steps must be taken and various “checks” must be made.
For NuBrit’tany and Tasha, what happens next is complicated because there is no interpersonal relationship. The laws vary by state, and in Oregon, where the mother/daughter duo live, having a prior relationship is the second listed requirement for getting a restraining order/order of protection via the Oregon State Bar:
“The person who abused you is: 1) your husband, wife, or domestic partner; or 2) your former husband, wife, or domestic partner; or 3) an adult with whom you are living (or did live) in a sexual relationship; or 4) an adult with whom you have been in a sexual relationship in the last two years (this two-year requirement does not apply to a petitioner who is a minor); or 5) an adult related to you by blood, marriage (caution: legal marriage in this context is distinct from co-habitation) or adoption; or 6) the parent of your child.”
As we said above, the terms can be very unfortunate: Sometimes, victims of stalking are also victims of circumstance; it’s a situation where you live next door to someone, having no relationship with them or anyone in the home, and suddenly you’re being stalked and harassed with no warning. You can find yourself being followed and photographed by someone you’ve never so much as spoken five words to, and while the threats they’re making are real and the behavior they’re exhibiting is predatory and terrifying, the law sees it as a grey area.
Of course, you can still apply for a restraining order/order of protection, and the process will move forward to be seen by a judge, but this is where it ends for some people. If you want to have a better chance of the order being granted, the best way to handle the situation is to go through civil court, but that adds to more complications: You often have to file it yourself and pay dues/fees on your own — and the process is relatively expensive, with each step adding up.
One option Oregon residents have is to request a Stalking Protection Order, and the requirements for it aren’t as invasive:
“Respondent must have made repeated and unwanted contact with you or a member of your immediate family or household. That contact must cause alarm, fear, or the feeling of being forced to do or not do something against your will. Contacts can be made either directly (by respondent themselves) or through someone else (for example, having a friend follow you or send messages). “Repeated” means at least two incidents within the past two years. The incidents do not have to involve the same kind of contact or contact with the same person. Contact can mean waiting outside your home, job, or school, following you, letters, phone calls, texts, or emails, or committing a crime against you. Contact with you includes any of these actions against a member of your immediate family or household. The contacts must cause you to reasonably fear for the physical safety of yourself or a member of your immediate family or household.”
While the idea of a stalking protection order is a small bit of comfort, everyone who has ever been a victim of stalking and harassment knows that a piece of paper isn’t enough to offer protection or to ward off someone hell-bent on negatively impacting your life. As many of the comments on the stalking videos have echoed, the best option is for the mother/daughter pair to move, which is another unfair and life-altering piece of the puzzle that no one ever wants to be tasked with putting together.
A second video proves that the instances of the behavior aren’t few and far between. With few options available for the promise of safety and security, this is one of the only ways the mother and daughter can ensure what’s happening is documented.
NuBrit’tany and Tasha have created a GoFundMe as many were asking for ways to help contribute to a relocation fund and for anything they could do to help them feel safe in the meantime.