There’s one day on the calendar that looks different for everyone but is without a doubt a stitch in time to celebrate you: there are candles, balloons, presents, and singing – we’re talking about your birthday!
Be it an awkward occasion that you feel overwhelming dread about, or the moment in the spotlight you look forward to each year, being the center of attention for the length of time it takes for people to sing “Happy Birthday To You” is something we’ve all experienced. Some people love the feeling their loved ones surrounding them while getting to make a wish for a new year, while others shy away from the attention.
TikTok user angel_mendoza98 recently shared her moment in the spotlight with her niece, Haisley, and the video is causing quite a commotion on social channels. Angel was basking in the moment of gearing up to blow out her candles on her 25th birthday, but a sweet little someone beat her to the big moment.
That’s right, Angel didn’t blow out her own candles when she turned the big 2-5; her niece did, and to say people have mixed emotions about it is a massive understatement.
One comment resonated with most viewers because many of us grew up that way or would go on to teach our children the same: a birthday is a special celebration for the person growing older, and making a birthday wish is still special, whether from a 5-year-old or a 35-year-old.
Most of the other TikTokers who saw this video felt the same way. In fact, this mother said that this wouldn’t fly on her birthday with her own kids.
This comment says a lot; there are certainly ages where this would bother people more than others. This user says that at 25, it would have annoyed them, but they’d be okay with it now as a 30-year-old.
Her annoyed vibe isn’t wrong, but many wonder if someone else should have spoken up on her behalf. Should the sister have grabbed her niece to give Angel her moment? Should someone recording have noticed her frustration and tried to jump in?
It’s also important to note that kids, especially at the age range that Haisley looks to be, have lived much of their lives in a COVID-19 bubble. Unicef says that the pandemic has severely impacted kids, and having “proper” social skills is the most noticeable piece.
“In terms of social skills, kids are out of practice. Part of how they learn how to get along with others is by spending time with people, making friends, and also by being with people they wouldn’t necessarily choose to be around. It’s with practice that children and adults get better at doing all of those things. So we are definitely seeing signs of developmental lag in some children’s social skills. This is to be expected, but it can also be addressed.”
Children missed out on many things during the pandemic, like birthday parties, and Unicef says there’s nothing more important for a child coming to terms with what they’ve missed than comfort from a loving adult.
“So when children are tearful about all they’ve missed out on, they are having the right feeling at the right time. They’re handling that feeling effectively by expressing it through tears, and hopefully taking comfort from loving adults. If, however, a child is sad about all that has happened and is unable to receive or find ways to help themselves feel better, is doing things that are harmful to others or harmful to themselves, or is so sad that the sadness starts to interfere with the ability to enjoy anything or feel hopeful, then we want to treat that as a mental health concern and make sure that child gets the needed support.”
Despite Angel’s internal feelings, she gave Haisley precisely what she needed at the time — and that says a lot about her heart.
Another comment unexpectedly hit us right in the “feels,” so to speak, because it’s something we’ve felt before as we tiptoe into adulthood. There’s an age that’s different for all of us, but often in your early 20s (if not before) when birthdays aren’t really celebrated on a grand scale anymore.
Is it because we’ve grown older and understand that the “magic” of a birthday isn’t what we used to believe? Does society tell us to grow up because we’re adults now and responsibilities and demands and the things that require our attention are more important than a fancy cake and a day to celebrate ourselves? Sometimes, it comes down to aging — are we losing the joy in celebrating because the number of candles keeps growing? Isn’t that more of a reason to honor ourselves and our bodies?
Several comments read a lot like this: signaling that the birthday should feel lucky that her niece wants to celebrate with her, with many saying they allow their littles to blow out candles often.
There is something inherently special about being an aunt or an uncle; there’s a joy and pride in being given that title, and Brigham Young University shared an article from research assistant Kaitlin M. Miller that highlights the importance of being there for the nieces and nephews in your life.
From being there as a type of role model, friend, advice giver, or listener, being present is the most essential step in being an aunt or uncle. It’s obvious that Angel’s niece continually feels her love and presence, and if there’s a silver lining in this “mishap” — it’s that. Children can’t feel an “overabundance” of love; they treasure every ounce; the more, the better.
Angel is the fun aunt, and while that video might have been tragic, we’re not sure anyone can disagree that her niece feels loved and special when she’s with her, and Angel deserves her flowers (and to blow out her own candles) for that. Here’s hoping everyone has an Angel in their life and, on the flip side, you get lucky enough one day to have a Haisley, too.