In the iconic 1987 Chuck Lorre jingle “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” a promise was made. Devotees of the franchise’s purple-clad hero in a half shell were guaranteed one specific thing: that Donatello, for lack of a better word, does machines.
But here we are, the better part of 40 years later. By rights, Donatello should be old enough to be thinking about retirement, getting his prostate checked and giving his neighbors uninvited lawncare advice. After all this time, how many machines have we actually seen him do?
Based solely on his big screen appearances, the answer is “alarmingly few.” We took a look back through the last several decades of Ninja Turtles motion pictures with one ambition: Tally the number and the severity of machines done by Donatello in each outing, with the end goal ranking every appearance by the sheer quantity of machines done. Here’s what we came up with.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles gave the world so much. It became the biggest box office success of any independent movie up to that point. It proved that colorful cartoon characters could be brought to life, no matter how bizarre, through the application of care and passion.
What it didn’t do, however, was show Donatello doing machines. At best, he tries to repair a busted-up pickup truck with Casey Jones while everyone waits for Raphael to stop bleeding internally. In the film’s final indignity, Jones even gets to flip the switch on the garbage truck that crushes Shredder into a wad of viscera, despite the fact that garbage trucks are – and this will come up later – machines.
Machines done: Half of one pickup truck.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time (1993)
The argument could be made that Donatello does even fewer machines in Turtles in Time than he does in the first entry in the series, considering that most of the “machines” that he does in the critically maligned threequel are either feudal-era or magic time travel spears. Still, a machine is a machine, and he does do them, and besides, at the end of the movie, he can’t wait to get home to do more machines.
Machines done: Some blacksmithing equipment, if that counts, and a scepter that makes time travel happen.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze (1991)
Secret of the Ooze may have been a letdown for hardcore fans when it hit theaters a scant 51 weeks after its predecessor. The tone was sillier, the monsters were cartoony. Even so, one point cannot be argued: It represented the first time in the original live-action trilogy that Donatello could truly be said to have done machines.
Donnie hacks into TGRI’s database, does lab work, and helps to develop anti-mutagen during the Ninja Turtles’ second live-action outing – decidedly more machines getting done than in the franchise’s first entry. That said, he also gets pretty depressed for a minute when he finds out that he was an accident. Getting down because of the uncaring spin of the cogs of the universe? That’s letting the machine do you, Donnie. We’re striking one machine from your record for that.
Machines done: A computer, lab stuff, negative one machine for moping.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023)
It had been 16 years since the last all-CGI Ninja Turtles movie when 2023’s Mutant Mayhem hit theaters. 16 years since we saw a Donatello made entirely on machines, in a world built designed on machines, doing machines.
The newest Donnie skews younger, more innocent. He also gets things on the right track for the fresh, animated franchise, geeking out about tech the way he should. Time will tell just how many machines lay in this version of the turtle’s future, but however many there are, we feel certain that he’ll do them.
Machines done: Smartphone. Headphones. He joins the computer club at his new high school at the end. Also, he has an appreciation for the MCU, which is sort of a machine that makes disappointment lately.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
It took just shy of a quarter century for the live-action adaptations of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to finally let Donatello do machines proper. The beloved martial arts enthusiast didn’t waste a second making up for lost time, either – in a movie where each iconic genetic abomination had more extraneous stuff stuck to them than the last, Donnie took the cake, plastering himself with wearable tech. He was the Karl Havok of e-waste. Also, he renovated a van for his brothers to tool around town in. There’s no better machine you can do than the machine that you do for your family, that’s what I’ve always said.
Machines done: Computers, all that busy business he was wearing, a chemical weapon distribution system, that van at the end.
TMNT: Out of the Shadows (2016)
In his second outing during the Michael Bay era, Donatello does – I’m not exaggerating – a bunch of machines. He makes the team a battle wagon out of an old garbage truck that shoots manhole covers and has giant nunchucks. He analyzes ooze with computers and figures out interdimensional portal-opening gizmos. His taser bo staff doubles up as a way to land an airplane, which is the sort of thing you just accept when everything on the screen is CGI and loud and spinning. Drones. Something about drones happens at the end. It’s a disorienting movie.
Machines done: Tons. Almost too many.
TMNT (2007)
Donatello, as presented in the animated spiritual successor to the New Line live-action movies, doesn’t have a lot to do. He’s the default leader when Leonardo is away, but he’s sort of an also-ran turtle. You’d be forgiven for forgetting he was even there, outside of your understanding of the vague truism that Ninja Turtles tend to wind up in groups of four.
But this isn’t a list of Donatello appearances ranked by which one was the most memorable. This is a list of Donatello appearances ranked by how many machines he does. In the beginning of TMNT, we learn that Donnie is running a tech support line over the phone, theoretically giving him access to any machine owned by someone’s grandma or an embarrassed office worker who needs to kill these pop-ups before his cubicle mate gets back.
Machines done: Theoretically? All of them.