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Whatever Goes To Hell, Stays In Hell: The 13 Worst Horror Movies Of 2013

My list is pretty varied this year, containing reboots gone awry, sequels that aren't really sequels, independent films that forget to be creative, mainstream flops, and novel adaptations with the worst of intentions. There wasn't one finger to point, but multiple fingers pointing in all different directions, including at one of the most iconic horror directors to come out of the Giallo era of Italian horror filmmaking. Don't define 2013 by these duds, as there are PLENTY of horror movies I'm going to be praising unconditionally, but just do yourself a favor and don't become another victim claimed by these grueling headaches.

3) The Demented

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I love supporting independent cinema with every breath in my body, which is why my dislike for The Demented hurts so much. Low-budget fun, minimalist storytelling, more free-thinking filmmakers – these are all the things that make independent filmmaking such a treasure. Christopher Roosevelt unfortunately doesn’t embrace ANY of those aspects, and his zombie flick The Demented ends up being one of the most boring horror watches of the year. It’s a tired formula that Roosevelt implements, one that so many similar directors mistakenly believe is a formula for success.

In The Demented, a group of sexy hardbodies party obnoxiously at the most fratty friend’s family vacation home, a rogue CGI missile infects some of the American population with a rabid infection (zombies, don’t kid yourself), and our terrible excuses for human beings are forced to fight for their lives any way they can. First they try holding out in the lavish mansion, but when that doesn’t work, they try heading out into the danger zone for a daring escape. Of course, the action is beyond bland, the characters are about as wooden as Christmas nutcrackers, and the independent nature of Roosevelt’s film becomes a negative detractor instead of freeing device. Where such an opportunity should only create dangerous moments of genre gutsiness, The Demented refuses to step outside the constricting box its feet are firmly planted in.

Sex appeal – that’s the only thing The Demented worries about. Not acting, not scares, not thrills, chills, or anything that makes the horror genre fun. What. A. Crock.