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Please Don’t Scream, You’re So Beautiful: The 14 Best Horror Movies Of 2013

Wow, what a truly inspiring year. Why, you ask? Simple - 2013 was the best year for horror I've seen since starting my love for the genre back in college. Each year has its highs and lows, don't get me wrong, and even though there were some insultingly bad horror movies forced upon us this year (which I already discussed in my 13 Worst Horror Movies Of 2013 article), the good mightily outweighed these forgettable blemishes. Count Dracula turning into a Praying Mantis? Last, last exorcisms? Sympathetic Leatherface? Forget all that malarky because 2013 was full of top-notch remakes, energized reboots, worthy sequels, ambitious independent winners, and horror comedies that had us laughing just as much as we were screaming. As a horror fan, this has been a year for the ages - and also a year that gave me a pretty empty wallet.

7) V/H/S/2

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While I thought V/H/S was an admirable effort to create a new anthology horror franchise, V/H/S/2 came along and bested the original in every conceivable facet. The first time around we were given a few short stories that all had to be shot as if a VHS recorder (or similar device) was capturing all the action. Some were fun, some were boring, and some were just blandly average. Learning from their mistakes, the producers on V/H/S/2 decided to cut the amount of shorts from five to four, giving each storyteller extra valuable time to bolster their segments – and boy did they. Jason Eisener (Hobo With A Shotgun), Eduardo Sánchez (The Blair Witch Project), Gregg Hale (The Blair Witch Project), Adam Wingard (You’re Next), Gareth Evans (The Raid: Redemption), and Timo Tjahjanto (Macabre) all make proper use of their additional minutes, taking this found footage compilation sequel to brave new lands.

Top dog honors here go to Gareth Evans and Timo Tjahjanto, the geniuses behind the cult inspired “Safe Haven” segment. The premise is simple – a documentary team gains unprecedented access to a local group called the People Of Paradise Gate, led by a man known only as “Father.” Unfortunately for our filmmakers, they enter this fabled community just as their plans are coming to fruition, and the crew attempts to escape before they become part of the evil ritual happening all around them. Insanity, bloodshed, creatures, mass suicide – escaping a cult-summoned apocalypse has never been so horrifying and fun.

The rest of the segments all have their charms, from Adam Wingard’s scary bionic-eye story, to Eduardo and Gregg’s zombie invasion film from the perspective of the zombie, to Jason Eisener’s 80s inspired alien invasion story that blends creature feature creativity with cheeky campiness. So many subgenres are covered by our filmmakers, each delivering their own distinct segment, and even though some of the quality seemed a bit crisp to be VHS recordings, the film is better for it. Why watch the action through a grainy lens when we’ve got glorious, vibrant HD?!