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5 Humble Suggestions For Next Year’s Academy Awards Ceremony

We should probably just admit that by their nature, the Academy Awards are an inherently unsatisfying entity, and it’s likely that no ceremony will ever make anyone happy, let alone everyone. That’s the nature of these types of self-congratulatory jerkfests that feature upper crust blowhards who moralistically decry world problems like poverty and hunger all while wearing literally millions of dollars worth of diamonds on their person. There’s a certain quality that dictates they essentially fail before they even have a chance to be enjoyable.

[h2]3) Give Jennifer Lawrence an award for anything, maybe just for being Jennifer Lawrence[/h2]

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I’m not on board the train that wants to see Lawrence host the awards next year, because as her Saturday Night Live gig demonstrated, she seems to operate best when she’s off-script. But she does need to get on stage, or on camera, or in front of a microphone as much as possible for next year’s awards to be significantly more entertaining. Her infamous fall, her post-win press appearance, and her encounter with Jack Nicholson instantly transformed her from a large contingent’s object of affection and admiration to Queen Of The Internet.

She actually has an outside chance of repeating next year anyway. She’s set to star in Serena, re-teaming with Silver Linings Playbook co-star Bradley Cooper, and also with director David O. Russell in his upcoming currently untitled project. Then there’s also her little franchise called The Hunger Games which she won’t receive or probably deserve awards attention for, but will no doubt offer a sizable number of media appearances resulting in some inevitably endearing YouTube clips.

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