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5 Humble Suggestions For Next Year’s Academy Awards Ceremony

We should probably just admit that by their nature, the Academy Awards are an inherently unsatisfying entity, and it’s likely that no ceremony will ever make anyone happy, let alone everyone. That’s the nature of these types of self-congratulatory jerkfests that feature upper crust blowhards who moralistically decry world problems like poverty and hunger all while wearing literally millions of dollars worth of diamonds on their person. There’s a certain quality that dictates they essentially fail before they even have a chance to be enjoyable.

[h2]1) Tina Fey and Amy Poehler should host, obviously[/h2]

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Their triumph at the Golden Globes (which shows how low the bar for these things is, because they were pretty much just super solid throughout but somehow this made them the best awards hosts ever) is an unequivocal fact by now. I guess the biggest surprise of it all was that we’ve seen so many solid comedians attempt and falter at these things that to see a couple seeming underdogs succeed was odd to say the least. Now, even MacFarlane and the Oscar producers have all but resigned themselves to the fact that Tina and Amy will host next year’s Academy Awards show, and everyone will be happy about this, and they possibly could save an otherwise tired ceremony.

I’m still trying to put my finger on why they were able to succeed where others have failed. They don’t quite have the detached “above it all” attitude that David Letterman or Jon Stewart understandably had. They seem to be edgy enough to throw out the odd bad taste joke, while still seeming nice enough for you to want to be friends with them. And they’re not nearly as smug as the Michael Buble wannabe that is Seth MacFarlane. Their presence should be the surest hit for any host in recent memory.

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