If Aragorn’s rousing speech in The Lord of the Rings: The Twin Towers is anything to go by, then there is always hope. Aragorn, however, was never subject to the woefully Lovecraftian entertainment algorithm that has since engulfed the world in ways that are becoming alarmingly less and less niche.
Indeed, a dystopian milestone has been reached as Warner Bros. Discovery has announced their plans to partner with blockchain giant Eluvio to rerelease The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring as a set of NFTs, as well as the inaugural piece of their upcoming “WB Movieverse.”
Per The Verge, it seems as though, in addition to the film itself being available as part of the collection, the NFT version (sporting the exhausting title of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Extended Version) Web3 Movie Experience) will come with additional extras and features in an attempt to redefine The Fellowship of the Ring as a sort of next-generation media experience, with the purchase of the $30 “Mystery” edition or the $100 “Epic” edition determining which extras will be made available to the buyer.
Such extras include three interactive navigation menus based on various Lord of the Rings locations, image galleries, and a series of special features with a runtime comparable to the trilogy itself. In addition, the “Mystery” edition will feature “hidden AR collectibles” that can be found throughout the film, whilst the “Epic” version takes this a step further by allowing these collectibles to be retroactively viewed on a web browser after discovering them; how Warner Bros. arrived at the conclusion that this would be worth the extra $70 is an answer we hope never comes to light.
Twitter, of course, is bringing the exact attention you’d expect to the announcement.
In the event that this development doesn’t crash and burn in record time, we may have to remodel J.R.R. Tolkein’s grave in order to provide ample rolling room. Indeed, if enough people can be tricked into forking over a pretty penny for a faux-collectible Blu-ray DVD menu, it may be too late for us all.