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Nato And Remy’s Last Stand: A Reflection On Our 2013 Horror Predictions

Alright, it's no secret that my counterpart Remy and myself like to play psychic and predict what horror movies will be worth your while, and 2012 was no different. Perusing through the 2013 catalogue, we picked a handful of movies that really got our inner horror geek excited, from all different subgenres, and hoped to dazzle you with bold and righteous predictions - which of course didn't hold true for half the films. Seriously, we didn't back down, and even on the more independent features we watched, we rated them with the upmost honesty. If a movie isn't worth your while, it doesn't matter how much filming budget it had. A boring movie is a boring movie - no doubt about it.

Remy – V/H/S/2

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Okay, I haven’t said this very much because I liked the first movie so much, but V/H/S/2 was a huge let down for me. It really was. First of all, there seemed to be a running theme of zombies in every one of the shorts (except the alien short). Secondly, the main storyline they are using for these movies has become silly (It’s like The Ring – if you see the V/H/S movies, you can kill yourself and come back as a zombie or something?).

Honestly, I would have NOTHING good to say about this sequel to one of my favorite horror films of last year, were it not for the AMAZING short, “Safe Haven,” that is jammed in the middle of V/H/S/2.

“Safe Haven” (made by the guys behind The Raid/The Raid 2/Macabre) was honestly and without question one of the best shorts I have ever seen in a horror anthology movie. Everything about it was super-creepy and it had an ending that could have been a massive fail, but the final moments were so over-the-top it worked – and stuck with me long after the credits rolled.

Outside of “Safe Haven,” though, this series is already losing sight of what it’s supposed to be about:

Horror caught on VHS.

Sorry, but when we are using GoPro helmet cams, the fucking VHS format suddenly makes no goddamned sense.

Mark my words, my choices for 2014 WILL BE five for five.

Nato – Hack/Slash

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Ok, here’s my only mis-step, but seriously – WHEN ARE WE GOING TO SEE CASSIE HACK ON THE BIG SCREEN!? This slasher villain killer is just begging to be represented cinematically, and I’m going to keep this film on every predictive list until my appetite for a Hack/Slash movie is appeased. I don’t even care if you can’t license any real slasher killers – be creative and make your own! I don’t care! All I care is that Cassie and Vlad are slicing and dicing their way through evil sooner than later. Do the right thing. Let Marcus Nispel stay on as director. JUST MAKE THE DAMN THING HAPPEN ALREADY!

Alright, we’ve given you our 2013 report cards, but how did you do this year? Were there any horror movies that severely let you down or majorly surprised you?

*A special thanks to Remy for stepping in to guest write! Feel free to follow either of us on Twitter for even more insanity and updates:

Matt Donato

Remy Carreiro

Like what you read? Check out last week’s article where we mix and match your favorite horror movies – and make even better ones!