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The 6 Most Disappointing Movies Of 2013

It's going to happen every year. There is no way around it. No matter who you are, or what film genre you appreciate most, some movies are going to disappoint you. The problem is, film is art in the sense that it is subjective, and means different things to different people. So who are we to say one movie is bad and another is good?

[h2]1) Now You See Me[/h2]

nowyouseeme

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The cast of Now You See Me is strange. It is half filled with really good actors (Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Mark Ruffalo), but it is also half filled with people I wouldn’t mind slapping in the face with a handful of baby powder (Jesse Eisenberg, Dave Franco). But going in, I at least thought a heist movie with magicians might be a fun take on the idea.

Boy was I wrong. This film is not fun at all. It is absolutely f*cking stupid. Stupid beyond stupid.

It was clear to see this movie had intended to throw some twists at us right from the start, but for a twist to work, it needs to make sense and be well-written. Now You See Me was a movie filled with twists for the sake of twists. It is also filled with a bunch of shit that it never f*cking explains. At the end of the day, it wants to send some cool rich versus poor message, but its ending seems forced and fake.

On top of that, without so much as saying it, the movie wants you to believe magic is real. Not all of it, mind you. But that some magic is real. As a cynic, that throws me off on appreciating any story they are trying to tell here. Also, the special effects in the film were awful and the main cast had next to no chemistry. The best actors were delegated to bit parts, picking up the scraps of these other hacks.

And let me tell you something, if Hollywood tries to force on more smug Franco sibling on me, I will light that sign on fire in the Hollywood hills. You mark my words. One Franco is one too many. Two makes me want to stand on the hills and play my fiddle while watching Rome burn.

Dishonorable Mentions:

  • The Last Exorcism 2: A terrible excuse for a film.
  • Oblivion: Tom Cruise sucks at life. He even makes something as cool as outer space seem lame.
  • Iron Man 3: Sorry, but between the ending and inconsistencies, I hated part 3. Love Shane Black, but his Iron Man sucked.
  • Rapture Palooza: The worst of all the “end of the world” comedies that came out this Summer.
  • The Lone Ranger: Not down with Johnny Depp’s Native American version of black face. Was hoping we were well past that by 2013. Guess not.

So, what were your most disappointing movies from 2013? Take to the comment thread and let us know. Best comment wins up-votes and a beaming sense of pride.