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Man Of Steel: Made Of Scrap Metal

The twenty-first century is undoubtedly the "age of superheroes," where the comic book heroes of the 1950s and 1960s have returned in the form of transmedia titans. From video games to breakfast cereals, the kids of yesterday have become the artists of today. Reading comics isn't enough anymore -- we want to live like superheroes too. Superhero movies have evolved all the same; the genre has blossomed from its wholesome beginnings into a viable means of artistic ingenuity. Just look at the Batman franchise, switching between Gothic horror, camp, and realism with each passing director. Christopher Nolan, the man behind the gritty The Dark Knight trilogy, returns to make Warner Bros. and DC Comics another fortune with this year's most anticipated summer blockbuster, Man of Steel. With tech-whiz Zack Snyder as director and frequent collaborator David S. Goyer as the lead writer, Nolan aims to turn Superman, the world's most iconic comic book hero, into a box-office binge.

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Every movie written by Goyer ends in an all-out brawl between the protagonist and the antagonist, a trait that turns even his better movies into a laugh riot; The Dark Knight Rises, for example, had probably one of the stupidest endings out of all his films. In Man of Steel, Zod spends the entire movie losing fights and retreating from Superman, finally ending when Superman breaks his neck. I might have ruined the movie’s conclusion, but think about it. Not only does this ending waste Superman’s only weakness (other than the overused threat of Kryptonite), it also implies that Superman could’ve broke Zod’s neck at any time but he was too lazy or hesitant to do so earlier.

Trust me, my expectations for this film weren’t exactly high. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, and a Superman movie by any other writer would be as cheesy. Superman might be the world’s most iconic hero, but we’re talking about someone who wears briefs in public as often as Captain Underpants. I can see the changes Nolan, Goyer, and Snyder are trying to implement to the franchise; Man of Steel isn’t just a new Superman, it’s a different superhero entirely. Armed with lens flares, slick jumpsuits, and alien technology, Man of Steel is as close as we will ever get to a serious reboot of Superman.

All the same, Man of Steel makes the same major blunder as any other unimaginative Hollywood film: it treats its viewers as paying customers, not as human beings. General Zod announcing his vow to kill all humans does not excite me. An agent from the FBI declaring that Clark shall be known as Superman does not humor me. Jor-El preaching about peace and hope does not inspire me. The filmmakers behind Man of Steel treat its audience like sheep, trying to convince them how engaging their film is when it is as heartless and soulless as an imitation frat-pack comedy like The Hangover Part III.

When I saw Superman Returns in 2006, I thought maybe the “age of superheroes” was never meant to be. But with films like Iron Man, The Dark Knight, and X-Men: First Class in the past few years, caped crusaders are here to stay, even becoming a major facet of the film industry in the process. Some would say that Superman is a little too old-fashioned for modern audiences, but I beg to differ. In Superman (1978), Clark Kent (Christopher Reeves, at the time) uses his powers to impress cheerleaders, reverse time, and imprison a bald criminal mastermind who wears a toupee. Man of Steel borrows crude plot elements from Superman-affiliated properties (Smallville, Superman 2), turning Clark Kent into an inanimate object and taking out anything human from Superman. Man of Steel? More like “Scraps of Steel.”

Zack Snyder turned Watchmen from a socio-political critique of American foreign policy into a watered-down, three-hour slog. Likewise, Goyer and Nolan have plagued cinemas with overrated drivel. If Superman doesn’t hang up his cape after Man of Steel, let’s hope that he will return in a film where he is more than just a machine made of muscle.