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Isaac Feldberg’s 15 Worst Movies Of 2014

Here's the sad truth about life as a film critic - in order to get to the good stuff, you have to sift through a whole lot of shit first. This year, that law held as true as ever, and though 2014 yielded some truly extraordinary works of cinematic decadence and beauty, it also gave us some real clunkers. For every Guardians of the Galaxy, there was an Amazing Spider-Man 2. For every Interstellar, there was a Transcendence. This year, Hollywood rained such an unrelenting deluge of crapola down on moviegoers that some still claim 2014 was one of the worst years for movies on record.

7) Transcendence

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Whatever compelled Inception cinematographer Wally Pfister to choose making his directorial debut on this expensive clunker over reteaming with Christopher Nolan on Interstellar, the world may never know. As career choices go, it’s what we call a Gigli moment – and in case you’ve forgotten, that dud’s helmer, Martin Brest, hasn’t directed since. Whether Hollywood will be kinder to Pfister remains to be seen, and hopefully Nolan will welcome him back with open arms. After all, Transcendence‘s script is the real reason it’s on this list.

How Jack Paglen’s stinker of a story made the Black List is another unanswered question. As a comedy, it’s tops – but when you consider that we’re meant to take a murdered scientist’s (Johnny Depp, literally phoning it in) transformation into an evil, all-powerful A.I. seriouslyTranscendence is an utter failure. Its dialogue is cheesy, its plot insultingly ludicrous and its character development nil.

More than that, though, Transcendence is the limpest sci-fi thriller in years. It never engages, never connects – even as all manner of sci-fi apocalyptic jibber-jabber unfolds on screen, Transcendence simply has no pulse. I wish I could purge it from my memory banks but, short of that, my desperate hope is that I’ll never see another “thought-provoking sci-fi” movie as mind-numbingly stupid.