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Top 10 Movie Franchises That Need To Die

Life isn’t fair. We exist in a movie world where our most desired sequels fester in obscurity for years before seeing the light of day (sometimes never at all) but where cookie-cutter schlock is pumped out ad nauseam. But don’t call me naïve; it doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure out why this is. To quote Wall Street’s Gordon Gekko “what’s worth doing is worth doing for money.”

2. Scary Movie

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Why it was good: The Zucker/Abrahams spoof brand had its heyday in the 80’s with classics like Airplane! and The Naked Gun, though 2000’s Scary Movie gave a new generation a decent taste of how horror comedies could work outside of Gremlins or Ghostbusters, it was never meant for sustained flight. If Scary Movie should be lauded for anything, it should be for brining underrated comedienne Anna Faris to the forefront (though unfortunately she was branded with a typecast she’s had difficulty shedding).

The turning point: Inherently, spoofs are supposed to make fun of bad movies and in the process craft a good movie out of those jabs, but when it gets to the point where your spoof is worse than films you’re spoofing, the joke is on you. Though by the time Scary Movie 3 came along the series was obviously poking fun at a different slate of movies than its predecessors, the things it had to say about them remained entirely the same.

Why it needs to die: Despite any laughs that were had over the duration of four films (soon five), all those involved should be ritualistically sacrificed to the movie gods for inadvertently unleashing the hell on earth that are Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie and Vampires Suck. As long as this style of spoof exists (and makes money), the hack duo of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer will be allowed to operate with impunity. For the sake of our children’s souls, this franchise must end.