Pearl Harbor (25%)
“The effect of watching a Michael Bay film is indistinguishable from having a large, pointy lump of rock drop on your head.”
That’s a quote from The New Yorker‘s review of Pearl Harbor, by the way. Note how it’s geared more towards the filmmaker than the actual product. If you didn’t believe confirmation bias existed, there’s your answer.
Put aside that Michael Bay directed Pearl Harbor and think back to the first time you saw it. Huge visuals, a fantastic score by Hans Zimmer, a heart-wrenching love story, and a hotshot cast featuring the who’s who of Hollywood in the early 2000s. Doesn’t sound so bad now, does it?
Is it as good as the film it tries to imitate, 1997’s Titanic? No, probably not. But you could also do a lot worse than Pearl Harbor, like watching Titanic 2. Yeah, that exists.
The Karate Kid Part III (16%)
While it’s undoubtedly the weakest entry of the original trilogy, The Karate Kid Part III still had more kick (kick, get it?) than any other martial arts films in 1986 (there were quite a few). It also had a lot of heart and an unabashed feel-good nature – something you just don’t find in movies anymore.
Focusing more on the strained relationship between Daniel-san and Mr. Miyagi, there were a plethora of moments that hit you right in the feels. When you see Miyagi crying after Daniel screams at him… I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING! Then, to top it all off: we see Okinawa’s most-famous son take down Terry Silver and John Kreese, simultaneously. Sorry, but this just proves that Chuck Norris isn’t even good enough to be Miyagi’s pet turtle. End of story.
The fact that 2010’s The Karate Kid, starring Jaden Smith, ranks as ‘fresh’ shows that there’s a need for an FBI investigation here. First, the film stars Jaden Smith, which is a problem in itself. Second, he’s learning kung fu, not karate, so shouldn’t this be called The Kung Fu Kid? The joke writes itself.
Save yourself the hassle and watch The Karate Kid Part III instead.