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The 5 Most Insane Things I Did In The First Five Hours Of Grand Theft Auto V

Grand Theft Auto V is not just a game. More than any other sandbox title before it, GTA V is a living, breathing world, and to say it is fun to drop into that world is a vast understatement. This game is the virtual version of what it must be like to bring a searing hot crack pipe to your lips and take a drag. You have, never in your life, felt addiction like you will feel once you start playing this glorious game. If you want to read our full review, you're going to have to wait just a bit longer until we've really had the proper amount of time to sink our teeth into it. In the meantime though, I just wanted to take a chance to tell you some of the most insane things I have experienced in the first five hours of the game.

[h2]I Killed Jay Norris[/h2]

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Okay, so this one is a slight spoiler alert for early on in the game, but it spoils NOTHING significant, and it is a mission that comes within the first few hours, so don’t worry.

The mission I am talking about is when Michael meets up with Lester, and Lester makes him go to the LifeInvader offices to prove his mettle. Incase you can’t tell by the name, LifeInvader sort of plays off the Facebook vibe, and there is even a Mark Zuckerberg type character named Jay Norris who runs the whole show and is idolized by all.

Basically, you go to the LifeInvader offices (which are filled with stand up games, yoga rooms and graffiti walls) and need to act like an IT guy for a bit to gain access to the place. You also come into contact with another techie who needs you to get the spyware off of his computer. You go into his computer, and wouldn’t you know, it is all porn pop-ups. You LITERALLY need to exit out all the (hilarious) pop ups to prove you know what you are doing, at which point, you are granted freedom around the office, which allows you the freedom to tamper a bit with Norris’ phone.

It all sounds simple enough until you go home and put on the TV to watch the LifeInvader press conference, and you are told to call the phone once you see him take it out on the air. He takes it out, you call him, and BAM, his head turns to red mist on live TV.

I won’t lie, it is freaking awesome and just shows you how deep down the pop culture rabbit hole this game is willing to go, and how no one and nothing is safe from satire (and a bloody death). It’s also the little things during the mission (like the fact that you can’t work at LifeInvader if you don’t air guitar, and the average age of the employee is 14.5 years old) that make it work on so many levels. They are little details, little stabs at pop culture and social media, and it reminds you exactly why you adore this video game series so much.

Because you get to do cool shit you always wanted to do, like kill Mark “smug piece of shit” Zuckerberg.