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The 5 Most Insane Things I Did In The First Five Hours Of Grand Theft Auto V

Grand Theft Auto V is not just a game. More than any other sandbox title before it, GTA V is a living, breathing world, and to say it is fun to drop into that world is a vast understatement. This game is the virtual version of what it must be like to bring a searing hot crack pipe to your lips and take a drag. You have, never in your life, felt addiction like you will feel once you start playing this glorious game. If you want to read our full review, you're going to have to wait just a bit longer until we've really had the proper amount of time to sink our teeth into it. In the meantime though, I just wanted to take a chance to tell you some of the most insane things I have experienced in the first five hours of the game.

[h2]Possessed My Dog While He Was Humping[/h2]

chop

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His name is Chop, and as insignificant as he may seem when you watch the game, as Franklin, you get REALLY attached to this dog. You can train him, play catch with him and watch him hump. Wait, I am getting ahead of myself.

There is a level, early on, where you need to find a guy who screwed you over, and Chop is using his scent to find the man, hidden among rail cars in a train yard. In this moment, I noticed that you could switch between playing as Franklin and playing as Chop, and when you play as Chop, you could see the scent line in the air and follow it to find the guy.

But Chop gets distracted by a hot bitch. I can say that, because a bitch is a female dog, and they were both in the sun. You walk over to open the door of the train and find the guy, but on the way, you notice that Chop mounted this bitch and is going to town on her. While this was happening, I walked over and kept trying to call him, but he wouldn’t stop screwing, and as I sat there watching him, I realized, wait, maybe I can jump into him right now.

I know that is sick and insane, but my thought was “there is no way I will be able to do this” and suddenly, SWOOP, I am staring at the back of a dog’s head while I am, as a dog, ramming it. Meanwhile, you hear Franklin saying shit like “Damn son, you trying to get yours, huh?” Yes, it made me feel creepy and insane, and I switched back immediately, but regardless, THAT is how epic and impressive this game is. You can do it doggy style in this game.

As a dog.