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Which Company Won E3 2014?

People say E3 isn’t supposed to be a competition. They say that it’s a chance for gamers to gather round their screens, rejoice that their hobby is alive and well, and see just what’s in store for them over the coming months. People also say that you’re supposed to drink a lot of water, but fish pee in there, so what do they know.

Sony

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Sony stole the show for many people last year with their aggressive announcements regarding the Playstation 4’s pricing and a focus on gaming. While there’s always room for improvement, there really wasn’t a hell of a lot of pressure on them coming into this, so we didn’t know if we should expect more earth shattering announcements or simply the traditional Sony montage to start things off, before crying about how the Vita is totally not dead you guys.

Chad: Sony was a really interesting event since they obviously spared no expense. They really wanted to show us a good time and have us in the best spirits possible when we walked in the door. They had the best stage with that massive screen and the biggest venue. However, at the end of the night, it’s about what they showed us.

Sony did well here. They didn’t do an incredibly thorough job, and they devoted too much time to talking about Playstation TV. I don’t need another device for my TV, and I’m simply not interested in spending any money on it. Powers looked ok, but it seemed out of place at the event.

On the games front, though, things looked great. The Order looks amazing, Dead Island 2 seems awesome, but that may be just my love of the series leaking out, and Uncharted 4 could be incredible. I’m a little confused on what the new Suda 51 game is though. It looks like a fighting game and I’m not a massive fan of that genre.

Chaz: I don’t think even Suda 51 knows what his games are about anymore. That guy would fit right in with Ubisoft.

Anyways, the games Sony showed looked great, but felt incomplete. Bloodborne looks like it could be a spiritual successor to the Souls franchise, and if it’s even remotely close to that, I’m going to spend hundreds of hours there and you guys are going to hate me for not getting any work done.

The biggest problem I had is that the games they showed didn’t make me scream “I need to buy that,” but “I should finish my backlog.” The Last of Us Remastered, that’s very cool, but I haven’t finished The Last of Us. Grand Theft Auto V on the new generation is cool, but I haven’t finished Grand Theft Auto V. I know I’m a bad a game journalist for this, but these aren’t things that I NEED. I love that they’re doing it, but it’s not something that makes me feel like I would need the new stuff.

Chad: You’re way behind schedule on this stuff, but I’ll allow it for this conversation.

Chaz: I want to rant about the new Ratchet and Clank movie as well as the Powers show for a moment. Fuck every single thing about this. Last year, Microsoft was damn near crucified for showing that its console was more than just a gaming device and that they could reach into new markets. They made some other mistakes (I’m not giving them a free pass on last year), but they were completely thrown under the bus. This year, Sony wastes 20 minutes on stuff, that while it may be cool, has very little to do with gaming, while Microsoft spent every single moment of its press conference to talk about games.

I’m sure the show will be cool, and the Ratchet and Clank film may be fun, but in terms of E3? I simply do not care. I actually find it insulting to think that we’re supposed to think this acceptable when 365 days ago this type of talk was considered a mortal sin.

Chad: Sony also really pushed the idea that games that look better on the PS4 and continued the resolution penis size competition we’re seeing right now. Resolution is important, of course, but if the games are playing well and look good it’s not a massive issue. As developers figure out what the hardware can really do, it’s going to even out more. They also mentioned a lot of exclusive content, not in terms of games but in just extra content.

Chaz: I’m hesitant about all of that. It may be cool, but if it’s just needlessly tacked on stuff, that’s just a waste of time to me.

Chad: I always think about Batman when I bought the PS3 version of Arkham Asylum, and it was just a bunch of challenge maps. I’m not a high score type of guy, so it all felt wasted to me.

FINAL GRADE

Chaz: Outside of Little Big Planet 3, which looks amazing and I need to play as that mutant frog thing in every game ever, and Uncharted, I felt like I was seeing rehashes of stuff more than anything new. They hinted that Grand Theft Auto V would be exclusive to the PS4, and that was a lie. They hinted that Magicka 2 was exclusive to the PS4, and that was a lie.

I’m going to be harsh here, and I know I’m going to get called all sorts of nasty names here by the internet, but I’m giving them a C. I think that’s being a bit generous in some ways. They did not wow me, the show was average. They showed me cool stuff, but then a lot of it was rehashes. They told me last year it’s all about games, but then they insulted us with tangent about movies and stuff that I don’t care about. Sorry Sony. Free food and beer before the show? A+, no question. You had the best event to be at by far. As far as actual content? C.

Chad: I’m going to go with a B-, simply because I’ve got that Canadian grading system in my head, but I’m right there with you. It felt like it dragged on, and I really just wanted it to end at times. There was cool stuff here, but not enough to wow me and certainly not enough to win the entire thing.

Next up: EA…