Another year, another Thanksgiving, and another signal that we’re going to be spending the next month refilling Mariah Carey’s coffers by paying her plenty of royalties for “All I Want for Christmas is You.”
Granted, Carey doesn’t need to do much in order to spur on those royalties – it’s an iconic Christmas song and there’s not much that can be done to slow down the speeding train.
However the amount of effort required on her part is really underlined by her annual appearance in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and the laughable lip-syncing effort she pulls off.
In what is quickly becoming a new holiday tradition, Twitter has been quick to hop online and start piling on the pop star’s participation badge:
Perhaps Mariah Carey is starting to catch on to the fact that little to no effort is required on her part for those sweet sweet Christmas bucks to roll into her bank account on an annual basis, which is why she went out of her way to remind us that Halloween is over and Mariah Carey season is starting.
That, or her status as Christmas Queen has come under threat from beyond her Iron Throne (which is made of candy canes), by way of Lindsay Lohan releasing her performance of “Jingle Bell Rock” in her new Netflix film, Falling for Christmas.
To be honest, none of the above probably matters for a second – as far as this grinch is begrudgingly concerned, we’re going to be hearing “All I Want for Christmas is You” on a loop during December for years, and years to come.
And they all lived happily ever after, he said as he twitched and his heart mercifully stayed the same size because cardiomegaly is a red flag for more serious cardiovascular disease.