Life can change at the drop of a dime, and no one knows that better than Josh Seiter from The Bachelorette. On Aug. 28 the former reality TV star was unceremoniously thrust into the spotlight after a post on his Instagram declared him dead. Seiter has since called the instance a hoax and claimed his account was hacked, but the 36-year-old is using this moment of attention to shine a light on the things that really matter to him.
Seiter, who appeared on season 11 of The Bachelorette (Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season), has been a vocal advocate for mental health for several years now and regularly posts words of encouragement and vulnerability to his social media followers. In speaking with People magazine after his death hoax came to light, Seiter calls the incident “very unfortunate” and said he wants to use it as an opportunity to bring the conversation back to mental health.
Life on social media comes with a certain bubble of perfection, but Seiter says he’s determined to break the mold and be a north star for those in similar situations.
“If you’re not open and honest, it precludes a connection to other people that are going through something similar. I feel like silence is going to lead inevitably to more suffering and more pain. I feel like when you’re open about something, it opens up connections to other people who might be going through the same thing, and through those connections, I feel like you can find more strength — it’s kind of like strength in numbers.
“I feel like anything that’s tough, it’s going to be even tougher if you do it in silence. Being open and honest allows me to connect with others going through something similar, but it’s also a cathartic. It allows me to get something off my chest. If I’m just dealing with obsessive compulsive thoughts and depression and anxiety in silence, it tends to build on itself. If I can speak to somebody about it, it allows me to get it off my chest. I think it just makes finding a solution a little bit easier.”
Because the public conversation about mental health still has a long way to go, Seiter admits it’s not always easy to be this open and honest.
“It’s embarrassing to say, ‘Oh I have bipolar, I struggle with OCD and suicide ideations,’ but I think the net benefit of doing that outweighs the embarrassment.
While every person deals with mental health in different ways, Seiter says he’s found success implementing cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) as a “holistic approach to battling back against the depression and anxiety.”
“It allows me to restructure lots of the anxiety that I feel is from faulty thinking.”
Living up to “impossible standards of perfection” is one obstacle with which Seiter says he regularly struggles. As a model and content creator on OnlyFans, Seiter’s public persona may come through as immaculate and tidy, but on the inside, he’s still searching for more.
“I’ve done well at it, but my long-term goal is to really just to do something worthwhile. OnlyFans pays the bills, but it doesn’t give me a sense of fulfillment or sense of accomplishment, and I feel those things if I talk about mental health. I feel that that fills me with a sense of purpose and meaning.”
Vulnerable comments such as the one above are commonplace for Seiter, who regularly posts captions such as “Surviving depression and anxiety one day at a time with a smile,” and “Remember to smile even when it’s the last thing on earth you feel like doing. It can change your whole day.”
Earlier this summer, he bore his heart in an Instagram post and outlined some of the obstacles he’s faced in his journey for joy, including suicide attempts and a stint at a psychiatric ward. Even then, it’s done with the hope of helping others feel less alone in their journeys.
“When I was 21 I was completely catatonic and committed to a psychiatric ward. When I was 22 I tried taking my own life. At 23 I underwent electroshock therapy. Later that year I harnessed every bit of strength I had and applied to law school. At 25 I graduated law school top of my class. By 30 I became one of the most followed mental health advocates online and one of the top creators on OF. At almost 36, life is pretty dang near perfect. Never, ever give up. Your story isn’t written yet. Every chapter is leading to a more perfect ending. I promise.”
As anyone who is finding their way in life can attest, the journey to self-discovery and joy never stops. With this unfortunate death hoax behind him and a spotlight shined in his direction, Seiter says he simply wants to “keep searching for peace and happiness” amid the newfound attention, all the while figuring out new ways to “find meaning in life.” Indeed, if there was ever an instance of making lemonade out of lemons, Seiter is living proof.
If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis, contact the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (En Español: 1-888-628-9454; Deaf and Hard of Hearing: 1-800-799-4889) or the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741. A list of international crisis resources can be found here.