Dumb And Dumber To Blu-Ray Review

Either I have entirely too much time on my hands (I don’t), I’m a self-admitted masochist (getting warmer), or Dumb And Dumber To is so horrendously brain-numbing that I couldn’t let a Blu-Ray review opportunity pass me by. My colleague Robert Kojder already wrote a forgiving theatrical review of the appalling comedic atrocity that is Dumb And Dumber To, but I don’t agree that the Farrelly brothers do their most famous property right by way of a repetitive, self-referential sequel. Opinions make the world go ’round, but this is one time I had to make my side heard.

While I can’t exactly call Dumb And Dumber To the Mortdecai of 2014 (because I genuinely laughed, albeit three whole times), this soulless husk of a comedic effort reeks of cash-grab incentives around every previously-explored turn. There are moments where we pity Jim Carrey and *EMMY WINNER* Jeff Daniels, but then we remember that each actor read the script and willingly participated, and the pity turns into questions of “what” and “how?” I can’t really argue each performer’s logic – Dumb And Dumber is beloved among comedy crowds, so why not recreate the magic of Harry and Lloyd some twenty years later?! Because time moves on, people mature, and it’s a lot sadder watching old-timers cover their faces in mustard than a few dumb-young-bucks pioneering the forefront of immature comedy.

Dumb And Dumber To rarely bothers to worry about attempting new jokes, as the once infallible Farrelly brothers re-purpose an all-too-suspect storyline calling back to the adventures of Dumb And Dumber. Remember when Lloyd introduced us to the most annoying sound in the world? Well then you’ll love hearing the second most annoying sound in the world! Remember the hitmen from the first film? Well Rob Riggle plays a hitman who must thwart the dummies this time around. Remember Mary’s briefcase? Well there’s a secrete package from a sickly doctor – OK, I think you’re getting my drift, right? More phallic jokes. More dumb faces. More toilet humor. Except this time it’s a lot sadder, embarrassingly forced, wholly predictable, and aggressively unfunny in a nostalgia-killing kind of way.

The only passable addition to the Dumb And Dumber franchise (and it pains me to say franchise) is Fraida Felcher’s daughter Penny, played by the moronically charming Rachel Melvin. Carrey and Daniels brutally beat their dimwitted personas into the ground, whether they’re trashing the Shaggin’ Wagon or messing with blind Billy, but Melvin’s fresh take on airheaded stupidity is coupled with a bubbly likability that’s sweeter than drinking straight soda syrup. Melvin is the only performer who reinvigorates the stale material that Dumb And Dumber To relies on, bounding around like the jubilant little offspring of cinema’s dumbest father.

Visually, Dumb And Dumber To comes across as a lazy transfer that pays almost no attention to the capabilities of a 1080p system. When you buy a Blu-Ray, there’s a certain level of quality definition that’s expected. That’s why people buy Blu-Rays – to watch crisp, intricately detailed renderings of their favorite movies. But in keeping with the movie’s ongoing theme of letting audiences down, this Blu-Ray makes a convincing argument for being a DVD in disguise. Is this review over yet? I’d like to be in a positive mood again.

As for the Special Features, he’s the few little tidbits Harry and Lloyd unwrap:

•  Alternate Opening
• Deleted/Extended Scenes
• Gag Reel
• “That’s Awesome!” – The Story Of Dumb And Dumber To
• What’s So Smart About Dumb And Dumber To

As if Dumb And Dumber To doesn’t already offer a rotten bounty of dick jokes, the Special Features on this Blu-Ray are nothing but Carrey and Daniels pulling on their tallywhackers some more. Well, to be correct, Daniels pulls on Carrey’s donger some more in the “Alternate Opening” – an extended bit that gives viewers more catheter-tugging pain. The Deleted/Extended scenes reflect the same laziness, as most offerings are just extended takes that present one or two more lines of equally unfunny dialogue. Hell, there’s an extended take of Bill Murray’s cameo, yet he doesn’t even have another line than what’s in the film – it’s just Carrey and Daniels talking about “Ice Pick” for, like, 10 seconds more. Oh, and then there’s the “What’s So Smart” featurette that ponders why “dumb humor” is actually some of the most intelligent. “It’s easy to laugh at dumb stuff” – then why wasn’t I laughing?

For a movie that took six writers to crack, it’s astounding how so many scenes settle for what’s worked in the past. Carrey’s delivery is drier than granny’s undercarriage, reeking of a certain type of desperation no man should wish upon their enemies, and Daniels rarely elevates himself above being a droopy-jowled dog who chases after invisible tennis balls. Believe it or not, but Dumb And Dumber is an exercise in grace and subtlety, pushing the stupidity envelope while reigning in some modicum of personality, while Dumb And Dumber To is a glutenous indulgence in excess that grows tiresome after only a few minutes of bicycle dry-humping and pee-bag licking.

Everyone’s arguing why Dumb And Dumber To doesn’t work, citing reasons such as the long passage of time and the Farrelly’s recent demise, but I have a pretty simple theory – the movie hasn’t a single funny bone in its body.