“Expectation,” we are taught, “is the herald of disappointment.” Sometimes, it means heartbreak — the failure of a medical treatment that was expected to succeed, or the bitter end of a marriage that began with pure and beautiful intentions. Other times, it’s worse than that, and you get ice cream when what you wanted was TV.
Audiences have been waiting for what feels like eons to get just a little bit more Stranger Things. The show’s last hurrah should be imminent, considering how it’s been over a year since the last batch of episodes dropped. Fans waited, ever vigilant, for a sign of what was to come.
Then, a beacon — a ray of hope. Twitter, or X, or whatever Elon decides to change the name of the platform to instead of actually building a hyperloop, lit up with a vague but exciting promise: That something sweet was coming. A 10-second video of the decimated Scoops Ahoy ice cream shop from the show’s third season, its sign flickering in a pile of rubble, beckoned Netflix subscribers. “Be prepared,” it seemed to say. “The time is almost upon us.” As one, the community of viewers girded their loins for what was surely to come.
Just kidding Stranger Things fans. It’s ice cream
What surely came was the announcement that Walmart locations in the United States and Australia would be offering Scoops Ahoy ice cream in seven delicious flavors: U.S.S. Butterscotch, Triple Decker Extravaganza, Chocolate Pudding, Cinnamon Bun Bytes, Mint Flare, the Void, and Pineapple Upside Down, not one of which tastes half as sweet as the delectable tears of disappointed Stranger Things fans. That the creators of the campaign decided against making an Eggo waffle and maple syrup flavor will remain one of the biggest whiffs in cross-promotional history.
In the hours that followed, it became clear that miscalculations had been made. Like any group of people being told that they were about to get a whole bunch of ice cream, longtime Stranger Things viewers were furious.
More like Anger Things: The social media pushback against ice cream
As with all of life’s great disappointments, the realization that fans would be getting ice cream instead of TV was met with a spectrum of negative reactions covering the span of the stages of grief.
From anger:
To depression:
To… talking like a Kevin Sorbo character?
Hungry, lactose-tolerant fans in the U.S. and Australia can find Scoops Ahoy ice cream at their local Walmart today, with availability in the U.K., Mexico, Japan, and more coming soon. Also, while we’re doing notes, how did they not make 11 flavors? That seems like a really easy shot to miss.