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An atrocious all-star shoot ’em up that throws top talent to the wolves takes out a streaming contract

Top talent doesn't mean a thing if you put them in a terrible movie.

assassin club
via Paramount

The very least that should be expected from a high concept action movie packed to the rafters with recognizable and talented stars is the slightest modicum of entertainment value, something Assassin Club couldn’t rustle up even once from beginning to end.

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One positive that can be said about director Camille Delamarre’s bargain basement shoot ’em up is that it no longer holds a zero percent score on Rotten Tomatoes, which is something. Instead, Assassin Club has been elevated all the way up to a mighty 14 percent critical approval rating on the aggregation site, with the user average just a smidge higher at a still-dire 20 percent.

assassin-club
via Paramount

That’s a disastrous reception for a film that had no shortage of potential in its concept, which finds a hitman looking for a way out being tasked to kill seven targets dotted all over the globe. Unfortunately, though, the septet also happen to be highly-trained hitters who’ve also been hired to kill him, too, leading to a desperate fight for survival.

Henry Golding’s failure to showcase action hero credentials continues to haunt him here after the risible Snake Eyes, but not even the presence of such proven genre veterans as The Suicide Squad, Fast X, and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3‘s Daniela Melchior, charming veteran Sam Neill, and established ass-kicker Noomi Rapace can save the day.

The one thing Assassin Club has working in its favor is that reviews and reactions don’t mean a thing when streaming subscribers are seeking their next quick fix of adrenaline, which is just as well when the insurmountably awful effort has managed to infiltrate the worldwide watch-list on iTunes, Google Play, and Rakuten per FlixPatrol, underlining that sentiment yet again.