“It ruined my childhood!” That’s the hyperbolic phrase often employed by incensed fans after a remake, reboot, legacy sequel, or spinoff connecting to something from their youths comes out and it falls short of measuring up to the rose-tinted memory of the original they hold in their heads and hearts. Sure, it’s a ridiculous thing to say — the thing you love still exists; in fact, it’s probably on streaming — but, honestly, Disney‘s live-action remakes of its animated classics often make us feel that way.
I can’t be alone in that, every time I sit down to watch one of the Mouse House’s latest reimaginings — which we didn’t ask for but nonetheless line up to see — I’m silently praying for it not to trample all over what’s so beloved about the animation too much. The risk in making the leap and deciding to watch these reboots is high and the rewards are unfortunately often low, and yet we keep on coming back — as evidenced by their box office success.
So, casting aside whether they are actually good movies or not in their own stead, it’s time for an unabashedly subjective ranking of all 16 Disney live-action remakes (including The Little Mermaid), from those that “ruined my childhood” the least to those that stampeded all over it like a herd of wildebeest over Mufasa’s corpse (too soon? Just kidding, it’s always too soon).
Note: this list doesn’t cover those remakes produced before the modern era (i.e. post-2010), such as 1994’s The Jungle Book, and does not include any sequels of these remakes. e.g. Maleficent: Mistress of Evil.
16. Cruella (2021)
Congrats, Cruella, you officially ruined my childhood the least. The reason why is because rebooting 101 Dalmatians in live-action isn’t heresy for us ’90s kids, given the Glenn Close version that decade gave us. Plus, Cruella gets props for being its own thing and Emma Stone undeniably killed it in the role.
15. Cinderella (2015)
In a similar vein, a live-action Cinderella is hardly sacrilegious because it’s been filmed so many times before, some good (we like the Drew Barrymore one, right?), some bad (you know the one). Lily James’ Cindy could really use a backbone, but Cate Blanchett just eats and eats as the evil stepmother.
14. Beauty and the Beast (2017)
For my money, Beauty and the Beast is the best working template we have for these remakes: just try and stay as close to the classic as you can. Sure, it’s far from perfect — there’s needless filler and ample cringe, as always — but everyone is wonderfully cast and there’s a genuine admiration for the 1992 film on display.
13. The Little Mermaid (2023)
Yes, Flounder is faintly terrifying, but The Little Mermaid earns a lot points from me for following the aforementioned BatB template and adding some meaningful expansions to its inherited, let’s face it, fairly thin storyline. Halle Bailey might be the best lead any of these films have ever had. Could’ve done without the awful Scuttle rap, though.
12. The Jungle Book (2016)
Hands up, I was never a huge fan of the original Jungle Book film as a kid so this one had less of a cherished memory to impinge upon but, hey, the new Jungle Book was mostly pretty solid. The only thing is: does anyone find Christopher Walken as a pre-historic orangutan slightly disconcerting?
11. Lady and the Tramp (2019)
Full disclosure: I watched the new Lady and the Tramp once when Disney Plus was still shiny and new, but four years of mostly middling streaming content (some of which we can’t even see anymore) later and I can’t really remember much about it. So I guess that means it didn’t ruin my childhood much? Yay?
10. Peter Pan and Wendy (2023)
It ended up getting review-bombed for all the wrong reasons, but the mere existence of Peter Pan and Wendy isn’t offensive as it feels like Hollywood adapts this one every couple of years. Sure, this particular iteration was extremely lackluster, but its childhood-ruining powers are somewhat limited.
9. Dumbo (2019)
There’s clear affection for the original in 2017’s Dumbo, but dear golly gee, is it boring. Tim Burton has since said that he made Dumbo, about a misunderstood creature trapped in a sell-out circus, as a metaphor for his own experience working for Disney. That rather says it all, really.
8. Maleficent (2014)
Angelina Jolie as Disney’s wickedest villain? Sure, sign me up. Not just turning her into an anti-hero but a straight-up hero who saves the day at the end? Umm, OK, you’re losing me now but I’m hanging on. Making Sleeping Beauty’s three fairy moms from the animation total morons? Good day, sir!
7. Christopher Robin (2018)
Christopher Robin is extremely difficult to rank by this metric as it has charm, warmth, and an authentic Winnie the Pooh, and yet you could say it ruined my childhood more than others thanks to its central message that the wonder and imagination of our youths is fleeting. Yay for Pooh, nay for the existential crisis it gave me.
6. Aladdin (2019)
I can forgive a lot about Aladdin. Iago being a plain dumb parrot, the stilted direction for big numbers like “Prince Ali” and “A Whole New World,” but, I’m sorry, I can’t forgive what it did to Jafar. No offense, Marwan Kenzari, you’re a good actor, but how did you manage to turn this into that?
5. Pete’s Dragon (2016)
All right, here’s the Disney remake hill I’m willing to die on: I don’t get the hype for 2016’s Pete’s Dragon. Sure, the original is all kinds of corny, but it’s vibrant and charming and the titular Elliot, with his inverted Barney the Dinosaur color scheme, is a memorable cartoon creation. The new one strips that all away and, despite the best efforts of Bryce Dallas Howard, it failed to hold my attention. There, I said it.
4. Mulan (2020)
I don’t care what you say, relatively decent 72 percent Rotten Tomatoes score, this is not the Mulan remake we were asking for. There’s no Mushu, there’s no “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” and, excuse me, where is Li Shang? And don’t even get me started on the insertion of a witch and giving Mulan superpowers. An attempt to make the story China-friendly just made it no-one-friendly.
3. Alice in Wonderland (2010)
Like Mulan, Alice in Wonderland loses points for its cliched Chosen One narrative, but it really earns its high spot here for its long-term ramifications — its success started the Disney remake renaissance that we’re still suffering from to this day. Plus, it also marked a downswing in both Tim Burton and Johnny Depp’s careers that didn’t reverse for Burton until Wednesday and not for Depp until… Um *scratches head*.
2. Pinocchio (2022)
Pinocchio is almost unique for Disney’s remakes in that it loses points for being less terrifying that the nightmare-inducing original. Robert Zemeckis, the undisputed king of the uncanny valley, plays it so safe and trad that it slowly drains away every last drop of your interest until you can’t even so much as shrug at the vaguely subversive ending. It’s not even the best Pinocchio adaptation of the year it came out.
1. The Lion King (2019)
Wait, what do you mean they made a live-action Lion King? You can’t make a live-action Lion King. Well, unless they switched out the beautifully animated animals from the original for glassy-eyed photo-realistic CG puppets that reduce Disney’s most majestic, emotional masterpiece to a lifeless, soulless husk. But they’d never be stupid enough to do that. Let alone go and give it a needless prequel. Right? Right??