Before we get started I’d like to share a quick announcement. To the Tears of the Kingdom players out there trying to defeat the darkness (myself included): For the love of all that is holy, go outside and touch grass while you still can. I’ll wait.
All righty, did we finally get some fresh air? Don’t lie or I’ll be able to tell. Seriously, us entertainment journalists are like Santa. Okay, well that’s not true. We can’t see you when you’re sleeping and we certainly don’t know if you’re awake — but, just pretend that we can and go outside for the hell of it. Please? Now back to the video games.
The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom has quickly become one of the year’s most coveted titles. Actually, screw 2023, this game is primed to define the decade. It’s just THAT good. Moreover, speedrunners have flocked to the title to try and complete countless challenges set by the community at large. The latest — completing any percentage of the playable game in the fastest amount of time — is a classic. Called an “Any%” completion, it looks like our world has a new champion. And I don’t mean Link.
A YouTuber named Koroks has officially become the world record holder. Look upon their work, and despair. To be honest, I find speedrunning one of the coolest aspects of the gaming community. It takes poise, finesse, and grit. It forces gamers to think creatively, manage their palm sweat, and eventually — try to outdo the countless others trying to achieve the same thing.
In essence, it’s a competition nested within a larger competition – and that’s pretty darn cool if you ask me. You didn’t, but I’m the one typing all these silly little letters so you’re stuck with me for now.
The wildest thing about a speedrun record like this one is that it’s bound to get faster. Tears of the Kingdom has been out for less than a week, players around the world will have likely seen the new record and are already off to the (proverbial) races. In reality, they aren’t off to anywhere, they’re still on their couches, but one can dream.
Frankly, who cares where they are as long as this record gets broken. I want rivalries. I want showmanship. I want legends to be forged in fire, written in the cosmos for eternity. All right you got me, maybe we don’t need anything that hardcore, but it would be cool to see someone take down Korok‘s record and set a new one because it’s certainly not going to be me. (I spent three hours last night trying to find a cool enough horse, if you think I’m setting any speed records you’re crazier than I thought.)