Things are really heating up on season 2 of The White Lotus. For starters, Harper (Aubrey Plaza) may or may not have slept with her husband’s college friend Cam (Theo James) — or at the very least, is fully letting him think she did — and poor Albie (Adam DiMarco) seems to be falling head over heels for his father’s prostitute. Not to mention, resort manager Valentina (Sabrina Impacciatore) going on a journey of sexual self-discovery thanks to sex worker-adjacent turned newly-minted lounge singer Mia (Beatrice Grannò).
But perhaps most notably, episode 6, aptly titled “Abductions,” continues to follow Tanya (Jennifer Coolidge) and Portia (Haley Lu Richardson) on their adventures in Palermo with the “high-end gays” who seem intent on scamming the wealthy heiress. After having discovered Quentin (Tom Hollander) having sex with his “nephew” Jack (Leo Woodall) at the end of the previous episode, Tanya has the sense to warn Portia that something seems off about her new companion.
“Something about his relationship with his uncle … I don’t think it’s his uncle,” Tanya tells Portia, before telling her that she reminds her of herself. “You know, when you’re empty inside, and you have no direction, you’ll end up in some crazy places, right? But you’ll still be lost,” she tries to explain. When asked what she’s trying to say, Tanya deadpans: “Get your shit together, Portia.”
But unfortunately, neither women follow the advice. Tanya’s suspicions about Quentin melt away once he informs her that he’s throwing a big party in her honor. And soon, she’s done enough lines of cocaine, supplied by Quentin’s Italian mobster friend, to notice that Portia never came back from her day trip with a heavily inebriated Jack.
With Portia out of the way, ostensibly by design, Tanya gets seduced by the coke dealer — but not before discovering an old photo of what appears to be her husband Greg alongside Quentin. Yet, she has sex with him anyway, potentially breaking an infidelity clause in her prenup agreement and leaving her fortune in jeopardy with the dastardly pair.
It’s only as Jack drunkenly half-confesses as he nods off at the hotel he insisted that they stay over at, that Portia seems to put it all together. However, it’s too late, as clearly the chain of events has already been set into motion.
As it currently stands, things aren’t looking good for either of them heading into next week’s finale. But somehow, even though Tanya is also a fully adult woman, viewers seem to be placing the blame squarely on Portia’s shoulders — she is the assistant, after all! — in the form of jokes and memes on Twitter.
“What good is Portia as a Gen Z assistant if she can’t even Google the people they’re staying with to figure out they’re liars and scammers,” tweeted one fan.
As one fan pointed out — if only she could have seen this coming!
“Season 2 of The White Lotus would be so different if Portia had watched Love Island and knew to stay away from men from Essex,” accurately joked another fan.
Albie must be looking pretty, pretty good right about now.