Note: Matthew McConaughey’s deeply personal op-ed touches on the Uvalde school shooting, and may be triggering or upsetting for some readers; please take care when reading.
When heartwrenching news began making its rounds on Tuesday, May 24, of a school shooting in Uvalde, Texas, a sickeningly familiar silence fell over the nation. Watching grief-stricken parents in their most painful moments wasn’t something we were unfamiliar with, but it hit home closer to some who watched the tragedy unfold. One of those people was Matthew McConaughey, who called Ulvalde home in his most formative years.
McConaughey became aware of the shooting when texts started flooding his phone with apologies, and a seven-word message from his wife stopped him in his tracks: “Baby, I read the news, call me.”
Months later, Esquire has shared an emotional op-ed from McConaughey, in which he begins with a statement regarding his tone for the story and the questions he had to answer before writing it, some of which he’s still mulling over.
“Writing this story was hard. It’s personal — for me, but more so for the victims and their families, who have paid the ultimate cost. Which is why I’ve hesitated to write it. Observing from the front lines, then sharing what I saw — it makes me feel a bit like a fraud. Am I trespassing? Sharing sacred secrets that are not my stories to tell? I hope not.”
Within days of the shooting, McConaughey’s wife, Camila, had joined him in Texas, and they were on their way to Uvalde. The couple wanted to go without the theatrics, as the media had already swarmed the small town, and he notes that they spoke to anyone who wished to share their story off-camera.
“It quickly became clear that instead of hearing yet another version of ‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ what they really wanted was to be asked and to answer two simple questions: “What was your child like, and what was your favorite thing about them?’ That’s when smiles began to appear alongside their tears. Fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters reveled in sharing the passions, dreams, and affections of their loved ones who were alive just days earlier. Even laughter filled the room when family members shared mischievous secrets about their lost loved ones—secrets that now, in death, were finally fair to be shared and forgiven.”
McConaughey felt the ripple effect of the shooting as it affected not just the now, but the past. His memories of an innocent childhood feel a bit like a façade now. He mentions the thing parents across the country do each morning as they send their kids to school; they hug them a little longer. Kiss their foreheads while they whisper a silent prayer that they’ll make it home safe; it’s the thing we do that we don’t talk about; McConaughey is talking about it.
“I’m sickened by the spate of mass shootings in America — especially those at schools, which are supposed to be some of the safest of spaces for our children and the closest extensions of our own homes. But this time felt different, more personal. Now, for the first time, my innocent childhood memories of Uvalde felt naive — more like dreams than memories, slightly hazy and suddenly overly sacred. Times like these make us all feel a bit more foolish. We hug our kids a little longer, knowing their innocence won’t last as long as ours did, hoping their children won’t know the same.”
McConaughey also shares that we all ask ourselves the same questions after a mass shooting, specifically one that happens at a school with the most vulnerable victims. Why, how, and what spurred the shooter… prayers and hopes for change follow those questions. It happens every time, and it’s as heartbreaking as it is frustrating that we have to say the words every time.
It’s also harrowing to acknowledge that no matter what, things aren’t changing in a way that stops these events from happening. McConaughey found himself asking why the tragedy un Uvalde felt different to him.
“It sure felt different to me. Because this time it was personal? Maybe. But also, there seemed to be momentum building in D. C. and in statehouses across the country to enact new legislation that would make it harder for the wrong people to acquire guns, especially semiautomatic weapons like the ones used in the worst mass shootings. If such a bill passed, it would be the first federal gun reform in twenty-eight years.”
From there, he explains the steps to speaking in front of Congress. He notes that he supports the second amendment, but that it’s time to make it help us. McConaughey notes that it doesn’t work right now, and that, as a nation, steps must be taken to ensure that guns don’t fall into the wrong hands.
“I believe we should have access to guns for hunting, sport, and self-defense. I believe all firearm purchases should be subject to an extensive background check, and unless you’re in the military, you should be twenty-one to purchase an assault rifle. I believe that extreme risk protection orders, or ‘red-flag laws,’ that respect due process should be the law of the land and that firearm-safety courses should be mandatory.”
You can read his entire op-ed in Esquire, and it’s a deep dive into the heart of someone deeply touched by the tragedy who won’t sit back while we cross our fingers that the next one doesn’t hit closer to home. McConaughey took the desire of the parents who are forced to live the rest of their lives without their children and made it his mission.
Their plea?
“I just want my child’s death to matter.”
McConaughey’s journey is to ensure that their loved ones know that each child lost to gun violence does matter; their lives and voices were impactful and authentic. They touched the world in big and small ways, in lazy afternoons and in the memories their parents now cling closely to.
“Make their lives matter,” is what McConaughey holds onto as he takes a step every day to ensure the fight isn’t lost.